Your tales of the unexpected

Antonia's Story...read more

My first marriage lasted ten years and we had three beautiful children together. He was a lovely man but had big problems with alcohol. In fact, it was the alcohol that killed him in the end.

A while afterwards, when I wasn't even looking, I met Neil on a night out. After all I had been through he was like a breath of fresh air; full of personality and fun, and the relationship soon turned serious.

Neil was an estate agent who dealt with high-end properties. He had been married twice before.

My three children were still mourning for their father so they found it hard to accept Neil, which caused tension at times.

After three years together my gorgeous daughter Holly was born. So there I was at the age of 40 with a very demanding baby who hardly slept plus three teenagers also needing my attention, and the cracks started to appear in my relationship with Neil.

When Holly was 18 months old Neil had his first affair. He began working late a lot, hiding his mobile 'phone, and not coming home at night. I confronted him one day and he eventually admitted it, and left to live with the other woman. He yo-yo'd between the two of us for a couple of years. He had access to see Holly every weekend and when he visited me the other woman would stalk him and make my life hell. After two years I could take no more and I moved into a flat for a fresh start. Neil finished his affair and eventually wore me down with his pleas to come back to our home and we started seeing each other again but still lived apart for a further three years.

One day he took me for a walk and we stood in front of this beautiful big house and he turned to me and said "What do you think? Let's give it another go." This was his dream home. It was huge with a large garden, swimming pool, outside hot tub under a gazebo, games room and every mod con and luxury you could think of.

So we gave it another go. But it wasn't the perfect life I thought it would be. Neil has OCD and would come home from work every day and patrol the house looking for imperfections. If anything was wrong he would sulk. I was constantly on tenterhooks and felt worn down and unconfident. My low self-esteem transferred into the bedroom and once again the cracks in our relationship began to appear. After two years, true to form, Neil started another affair.

A family friend, Wayne, knocked our door one evening and accused Neil of having an affair with his wife, Karen, a friend of mine for almost 20 years. Of course, Neil denied it all and turned the whole situation around so effectively Wayne actually apologised to him and shook his hand before leaving!

But Wayne’s suspicions were totally correct. Karen and Neil had done to me exactly what Karen’s first husband and best friend had done to her a few years earlier. When Karen’s first husband left her for her best friend I was there for her and helped her through it all as much as I could so for me this was a double betrayal.

Neil left me and moved in with Karen. Looking back now all the signs were there: they were very touchy-feely, they constantly contacted each other by mobile 'phone, Neil would be at her house a lot doing “odd jobs”, etc.

I remained at our house with my four children and Neil continued to pay the mortgage. But as soon as he knew I'd had an offer to purchase it he stopped paying it. To stop the house being repossessed I had to borrow money from family and friends and pay them back from the house sale. This also meant that instead of buying the house I live in now mortgage-free I ended up having to take out a mortgage on it. It was emotionally and financially a very traumatic time for me.

Neil's access to Holly was always sporadic and Holly is of an age now where she has decided she doesn't really want to see her dad. Neil sends her money in a birthday card every year but there's rarely any contact between them.

This all happened three years ago. I have no feelings for Neil anymore. I don't hate him and I don't love him either. The whole experience showed me that I am blessed with family and friends who rallied round me with their time, love, and money.

Life is now good again and I am content.

Alyson's Story...read more

My name is Alyson and I had been married to Ben for 15 years. My two children were five and three when I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with one of the girls he worked with.

I was devastated at the discovery as I had not suspected anything was wrong with our relationship at the time. He was still a loving husband and a great dad to our children. Then one day he walked in from work and said that he was leaving me, that he no longer loved me, and that he had found me physically repulsive since I had gained weight after the birth of our children. Cool as a cucumber, he then walked out the door and drove off in our new car, leaving me in a sobbing heap on the driveway.

My head was spinning. I did not know what had happened. I could not make any sense of the situation. My world, as I knew it, fell apart. I couldn't cope. I ended up in hospital after trying something stupid – which I now regret as he was not worth it.

I was allowed out of hospital several weeks later. My head was still a mess and I still couldn't cope with anything. I certainly wasn’t strong enough to cope with the children. My parents helped me out as much as they could but my life was spiralling out of control. I felt as if I had nothing to live for. What was going to happen to me now? I had never sorted a bill out or changed so much as a light bulb. I was never allowed to have anything to do with the finances; Ben took care of everything.

Now I felt so alone, so lost. I tried to deal with everyday tasks with the help of family and friends. The months passed slowly, and I was getting a little better every day. My husband was no help at all, flaunting his girlfriend in my face at every opportunity that he could. Then after a bad night which I had spent sobbing into my pillow, I woke up feeling so drained that I could no longer cry. I was all cried out, exhausted by it all.

It was that day that I decided that I had to put my life in order. My children needed their mother more than ever. I had been so wrapped up in my own sorrow at the loss of my husband I forgot that the children had lost their dad to another woman and I as their mother had not been there for them. They needed my support to try to deal with their dad leaving.

I am now trying to turn my life around with my children. I am now dealing with all the bills and everyday tasks around the house. I feel better and much stronger for doing all this. My children now have their mum back on track and coping with everything. We are all coming to terms with the situation and getting on with our lives.

Ben still lives with his girlfriend and we are getting divorced. But I now realise it’s his loss as I have all I need in my life: my children.

Pam's Story...read more

Hi, my name is Pam. I am 49 years old but have kept myself youthful and been told that I have a good figure. I like to look after myself - not for anyone else but for me. I have been single for the last year after a very bitter divorce which I did not cope with very well.  Let’s just say I ended up on antidepressants and lost the plot for a while. But I am happy to say that I'm now getting my life back on track. I go to the gym regularly and have met a guy who I like there. He's asked me to have a coffee with him. I know it sounds daft and you'll all think I'm mad but I am just too scared to go and meet him even though it’s just for a coffee.

Before my husband left me he took away all my confidence and self-esteem. I reached rock bottom and for a while I didn't think I'd be able to get back up.
I'm trying to rebuild my life again but am finding it hard. Going to the gym has helped as it took all my courage to start back again because I used to go there with my husband (no chance of bumping into my ex at the gym. He moved away with his fancy piece).
So you now know the predicament I find myself in. Do I go and meet him for a coffee? Do I make up some lame excuse? Or do I avoid the gym for a while? As I'm typing this my stomach is churning and I don’t know the reason why. Excitement or scared to death? Anyway whatever I decide I'll let you all know as soon as. Bye for now….

Megan's Story...read more

Here is my story and it's what is happening in my life right now. My name is Megan and I am 60. I've been married for what feels like an eternity. Well, to some 44 years IS an eternity. I could have murdered the little darling and been out by now lol.
I met my husband when we were in school. He was my first love and we basically grew up together and watched each other blossom into the people we are today.
Things started to go downhill a few weeks ago when my husband decided to go out and buy himself a brand new sports car. At the time I thought very cliched reaction to a midlife crisis and then felt a bit guilty for being hard on him. However, I've now discovered that he has sent flowers to someone. How did I find out? The silly old git left a receipt in his trouser pocket which I discovered when I was emptying them to do the washing. I certainly haven't received any flowers fom him so I rang the florist in question but they wouldn't give me any information about the purchase he'd made.
I'm now getting really worried that there's another woman on the scene but I don't know if I should come right out with it or leave it be but keep an eye on things. 
It's really flimsy evidence I know and I also know that if I pull him up on it he'll tell me that I am being bloody paranoid.
I think for the time being I will wait and see what other evidence I can find before I confront him about the flowers he purchased.
My stomach's in my mouth hoping that there’s just some simple explanation for the way he is acting at the moment. Wish me luck.

Janet's Story...read more

Hi, I'm Janet. I'm 57. I have been with my husband for 31 years in total and married him a year ago. I know what you're thinking: why bother getting married after 30 years? Well the reason is more practical than romantic I suppose because when you get to our age the pensions, joint properties and life savings are starting to come to the forefront of your mind and we just wanted to make sure that if either of us died then the one left behind would be financially sorted.

Now that we are into our first year of marriage he has started to become a bit distant towards me. We were celebrating our first anniversary and I cooked us a lovely meal with some good wine, had my hair and makeup done, put on some sexy underwear and made an effort with new clothes. If I say so myself I looked really good and expected the night to end in passion.
He didn't bat an eyelid. I was at least expecting a compliment about how nice I looked but nothing. Not a dicky bird from him. He just sat there eating his food and knocking back the wine. He wasn't talking a lot either which is not like him. The whole evening was, for me, a total anti-climax.
I don't know if I'm over-reacting or if my sixth sense is kicking in but I'm now wondering if he's seeing someone else or maybe even fancies someone else.
I'll keep you all informed as I start to investigate my worst fear.

Amanda's Story...read more

Hi my name is Amanda. At 45 I know I’m no oil painting. I've been told lots of times that I'm quite manly and I suppose when I look in the mirror I can see I am a well-built woman, 5 foot 11 with very cropped bleached blonde hair which I suppose does not help. In the past I've been asked if I'm a lesbian which I'm not. Anyway, I have now decided to grow my hair to see if it 'll help me look more feminine.

The reason I'm on Women Scorned is that in the past I have had a few bad relationships where I must have had MUG written on my forehead. The men I've been out with have treated me badly, almost like a slave, and usually cheated on me. I think because of my insecurities I allowed them to get away with everything.
Every time I get hurt by them I have come out of the relationship feeling that bit more insecure and unconfident.
So now I have turned to the internet. I have been talking to a great man online with a great personality but, I've got to say, is also no oil painting. He has only about two teeth in his rather large unshaven face and he also has been in bad relationships in the past.
He is not the normal type of man I would go for looks-wise but I just love his personality. He's so funny, upbeat, kind and clever. He has me in stitches and makes me feel so good about myself whenever I've come off the 'phone to him.
I've just got off the 'phone to him now actually and we've finally arranged to meet next week face-to-face for the first time!!
I'll let all you single ladies out there know if the saying is true: personality is better than looks. Fingers crossed for me everyone.

Jackie's Story...read more

I got divorced a year and a half ago. No one tells you how you're going to feel and I was surprised by how little help was out there. I felt I had no control over my life.

I met Pete* when I was a mature student and he was a lecturer. I already had a son and Pete and I had another son and a daughter now 20 and 18. They still live with me as he's moved to Mexico but they take everything out on me.
Pete's a psychologist and very good at planting ideas in their heads. A couple of years ago he started doing odd things like getting up at 5am and cleaning the kitchen. In fact, he later gave as one of the reasons on the divorce form the fact I hadn't done any housework for six months. It was true – because he was doing it all at 5am! 
Before I knew anything he told the children that he had a friend in Mexico. My daughter told a close friend of mine who told me. My friend insisted that Pete was having an affair but I was in denial. He made out it was innocent – but divorced me and married this woman just two months later. Then it all started falling into place. He had started learning Spanish a few years ago - and I had been the one to encourage him!
It was a minefield finding out what I was entitled to. My friend was really good as she kept coming up with the worst-case scenario and making me think about how I would tackle it. I wish I had made more of a stand but I just gave Pete permission to do what he wanted as I didn't want to upset him over the money and the divorce.
When you're 50 and you've only been working for five or six years, due to staying at home to look after the kids, it's hard to get a mortgage. You feel very vulnerable as it's usually the woman who gives up everything from her earning power down to her name.
I changed back to my maiden name at work and once somebody got it wrong then told me it didn't matter. But it did matter very much to me.
I did manage to get a little bit of revenge. My dad worked out what was the least I could sell the house for and I found a company that bought houses for two thirds of their value. I lost about £50,000 but I was still able to buy a new house outright so I could only see it as a gain. Pete was absolutely furious!
I have no curiosity about his new wife whatsoever. The children have met her and I did see a photo but the odd thing was that she is so non-descript. My confidence took a massive dip – I could almost understand it if she had been beautiful.
I don't miss Pete and I'm not sorry we're divorced but I miss being married. I miss my life. I got hair extensions and started going out with people from work until 3am but it took me a long time to give myself permission not to be at home. It's hard accepting that there is no one there to care whether you get home or not. There are also so many practical things. One of my kitchen doors fell off and I thought: how on earth am I going to fix this myself? 
Then there are the in-laws – what's the etiquette there? His mum and sister have been really sympathetic towards me but I feel guilty as I didn't want to come between them. You are either the bad person or the victim and I'm not sure which is worse.

Paula's Story...read more

I can't believe I'm on this site but I feel so lost and helpless. I had to google ‘affairs' to see if there was anywhere to get some answers and found Women Scorned. About a month ago I found out my partner of fourteen years is cheating on me – devastated isn't the word. I've got tears streaming down my face as I'm typing this.

I had to borrow Stephen's car when mine went in for the MOT. I was looking for chewing gum in the glove compartment and found a pay-as-you-go 'phone I'd never seen before full of texts from someone called Sue. I just sat there thinking: who the hell is Sue?!
My brain just couldn't take it in. It was like I was watching a film of someone sitting in a car rummaging around in the glove box. I gave up smoking years back but would have killed for a fag as I trawled through all the messages. There were bloody hundreds of them.
A couple made me feel physically sick, this ‘Sue' describing what she was going to wear in a hotel room later that night. Checked the date out and it was when Stephen told me he was working in Edinburgh. Lying sod. I wanted to kill him. And as for her…!!
I have no idea how but I managed to act like nothing had happened in front of Stephen and the kids that evening. Just picked Molly and Harry up from school, made tea and did the ironing in front of Eastenders whilst they did their homework. Stephen was slouching on the sofa with his new iPad and something clicked in my head. He hasn't been without it since he bought it, taking it with him to work every day. So after he'd gone to bed I hid it. The next morning he was all flustered looking for it but I acted innocent when he asked if I'd seen it and he had to leave without it. And after the school run I got started.
What I discovered still makes my skin crawl. He was actually looking for an affair. On his history I found all these websites for people who are in relationships and are actually looking for other married people to have a fling with. I'm not particularly naïve, but I didn't even know websites like that existed. Who the hell sets up a website encouraging people to sh*g around behind their partner's back?!!!! It's too sick to think about. I'd assumed this Sue was from work or something but to know he found her on one of these sites is a thousand times worse.
I can't believe Stephen would do this to me. I haven't got a clue who I've been living with all these years. I've stayed at home for the last ten years bringing up our children and this is how he repays me. I'm tortured by thoughts that this Sue has a brilliant job and is dead glamorous. Anyway, I've kept Stephen's nasty little secret to myself all this time apart from telling my sister. She's absolutely furious with Stephen and wants me to kick him out right now but it's not that easy though, is it? Not when you have kids and a mortgage. 
It's horrendous putting on a brave face for Mols and Harry. Harry caught me crying in the kitchen before school yesterday and I had to pretend I was upset about his granddad who died last year. Other than that it's business as usual while I try to figure it all out. Well, almost business as usual… I've managed to avoid sleeping with Stephen since I found the phone. Made up all sorts of excuses. He's started to look a bit peed off, to be honest, but that's his look-out. There's no way he's coming near me not after what he's been doing.
God, I wish I'd never found that bloody 'phone. What am I going to do?

Margaret's Story...read more

What on earth am I doing on a site called Women Scorned? My friend a few doors down has been following Women Scorned on Twitter and told me to get in touch. I'm not very good at computers but I gave it a go and was asked to share my story. So here goes!

My marriage has been a complete sham. I've found out that my husband Geoff has been playing away for most of the twenty years we've been together. I'm 43 and feel like my life is over. Our two beautiful daughters are both at uni and I miss them so much. I've never felt so alone.
It all looked good on the surface. We have a nice home and had matching BMWs on the drive; you know, the sort of life other people are jealous of. But not everything that glitters is gold! I've struggled for years with depression. It started after Megan, my second child, was born. It would probably be called post-natal depression nowadays but no one picked it up 19 years ago. I put on loads of weight and kind of hid away really. I found it difficult to talk to the other mums. They wouldn't have been very interested in me anyway!
A year ago I did Race For Life in memory of my mum. I really enjoyed it and started walking three times a week afterwards to get out of the house and enjoy the fresh air. The weight just fell off and I felt happier than I had for years. And that's when Geoff dropped his little bombshell!
He's been seeing a woman at work for six years. And it isn't the first affair he's had but, according to him, it's the only one that's been ‘serious'! He said he wanted to tell me from the start but was worried I wouldn't cope due to my depression. But when he saw me getting happier and stronger he thought it was the right time to leave. He packed and left that very day before I could take it all in. That was three weeks ago and I don't think I've taken it in yet.
He moved straight in with HER in a luxury apartment. One of those horrible, high blocks full of trendy young people. I think he is having some kind of midlife crisis! He told Emma and Megan all about her and invited them to go and stay when they are home from uni but they say they'll never go near the place. Meg's not speaking to him and I can't make her. He's always been a good dad but, to be honest, I'm a little bit pleased they're on my side.
I suppose I am lucky really. Geoff* has a good job and has said I can have the house, so I don't have the money worries that lots of women have. But I think I will sell up and get something smaller. As long as I have room for the girls to stay I don't care about anything fancy. This house is cold now. It's too big and all my memories seem unreal. As for everything else… I feel old and quite scared but I'm determined not to let him ruin my future. I've spent so long battling with depression but I'm going to fight it this time.

Alison's Story...read more

Here I am on Women Scorned. Never thought I would have needed a site like this but I’m so glad that I have found it.

My name is Alison, I had been married for 15 years. My two children were five and three when I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with one of the girls he worked with.
I was devastated at the discovery as I had not suspected anything was wrong with our relationship at that time. He was still a loving husband and a great dad to our children. Then one day he walked in from work and said that he was leaving me, that he no longer loved me and that he had found me physically repulsive since I had gained weight after the birth of our children. He then, as cool as a cucumber, walked out the door and drove off in our new car leaving me in a sobbing heap on the driveway.
My head was spinning. I did not know what had happened. I could not make any sense of the situation. My world, as I knew it, fell apart. I couldn't cope. I ended up in hospital after trying something stupid which I now regret as he was not worth it.
I was allowed out of hospital several weeks later. My head was still a mess and I still couldn't cope with anything. Certainly couldn't cope with the children. My parents helped me out as much as they could but my life was spiralling out of control. I felt I had nothing to live for. 
What was going to happen to me now? I had never sorted a bill out or changed so much as a light bulb. Was never allowed to have anything to do with the finances.
Now I felt so alone so lost. I tried to deal with everyday tasks with the help of family and friends. The months passed slowly, I was getting a little better every day. My husband was no help at all, flaunting his girlfriend in my face at every opportunity that he could. Then after a bad night which I had spent sobbing into my pillow I woke up feeling so drained that I could no longer cry. I was all cried out, exhausted by it all.
It was that day that I decided that I had to put my life in order. My children needed their mother more than ever. I had been so wrapped up in my own sorrow at the loss of my husband I forgot that the children had lost their dad to another woman and I as their mother had not been there for them. They needed my support to try to deal with their dad leaving.
I am now trying to turn my life around with my children. I am now dealing with all the bills and everyday tasks around the house. I feel better and much stronger for doing all this. My children now have their mum back on track and coping with everything. We are all coming to terms with the situation and getting on with our lives. He lives with his girlfriend and we are getting divorced. But I now realise it’s his loss as I have all I need in my life. MY CHILDREN.

Helen's Story...read more

OK so here I am on the Women Scorned site. Thank you again for asking me to share my story. My name is Helen. I am 47 years old so you would think at my age I would have lots of life experience and would not be so stupid. Well, I can’t say stupid but maybe more common sense.Well ladies here is my story.

I got married (and, yes, I was with child) but didn’t have to get married as my parents were very broad-minded and I was already in my twenties. I had had plenty of boyfriends in the past so thought it was a good time to settle down. I had done all the night clubbing that I had wanted to do as a teenager.
I'd been seeing Tom* for several months.We were having a great time together out partying here there and everywhere so when I missed my first period I thought I was just exhausted. I was not feeling well but decided to do a test to be on the safe side. When it showed positive I sat and cried at first, then thought I would get rid, but decided to tell Tom to see what he had to say as it was his.
Well, to my surprise he was delighted. So we decided to get married before the baby was born. I settled down in the role of the wife. No more partying for me. He, however, decided that he wanted to party hard until the baby was born then he said he would start staying in with me and do his fatherly duty.
Well, the day arrived and my daughter was born. He was no help at the birth and was only too eager to go out and wet the baby's head with his mates while I was left once again on my own in the house literally holding the baby.
I thought once he had done that he would start to stay in and help with his daughter but nothing changed. He still continued to go out with his mates clubbing every weekend. I was trying to cope with all the changes in my life while he did nothing to help me with his daughter. He never even changed her nappy - not once. 
His relationship with me was changing. He didn't come near me in the bedroom, made every excuse he could not to be in the house with us both and used every chance that he could to start an argument so he could slam out of the door and go out with his mates.
The alarm bells starting ringing in my head because I'd seen this happening to my friend with her husband and he had been cheating on her. So one night I asked a friend to watch my daughter for a few hours so I could follow Tom to see where he was going clubbing in the nights. Yes he was still clubbing but not with his mates. He was with another woman who looked about eighteen.
I confronted them both there and then. He showed no remorse for what he was doing, telling me he didn’t want to be stuck in the house with a baby as life was for partying. She, however, was so upset to think that he was married with a child she promptly gave him the hardest slap in the face, apologised to me, then ran off crying.
We are now divorced. I have my daughter, who I cherish but he doesn't bother with her. His loss.
I didn't blame the other woman. She was just as much a victim as me. Just goes to show not all the "other women" are to blame.  
Tom is still out there partying hard. He is looking old now though. All his friends are now settled down and married bringing up their own children but I unfortunately married the oldest swinger in town.

Amber's Story...read more

Hi my name is Amber. I am 18 and have been in a relationship for the past year to a boy that my mother now hates. I don't think she was that fussed on him from the start.

My mother thought he was from a rough area and was not good enough for me but don’t all mothers think that no one is good enough for their children? Anyway, I loved him and that is all that mattered to me. He was my first love and I thought about him every second of the day and night, I had butterflies thinking about him, and wanted to be with him constantly.
I will admit that I found him exciting as he did live life to the full, on the edge. Some of the things he did didn't frighten me but they didn't sit comfortably with my moral standards. However the more my mother nagged me the more I dug my feet in about the relationship. I said I was happy and in love, my mother said it was lust not love.
We then decided to move in together. My mother went loopy but she did help us out by buying stuff for the house. She knows when I set my mind on things I’m a stubborn little cow!
Well the day came and we moved in together and I could not have been happier but as the weeks passed the relationship was starting to change. His attitude towards me was changing fast and I could not understand why the boy that I loved was starting to treat me so bad. He was starting to frighten me but I didn't want to admit this to my mother. I did not want her to know that she was right about him all along.
I wanted to tell her so much but I didn't have to she had already noticed the change in me. But the more she said for me to leave him and come home the more I was digging my heels in trying to make it work to prove her wrong.
Then it happened. I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to tell my mother but she kept asking me if I was pregnant. I’m sure she’s a bloody mind reader! I broke down in tears and said I was. I was expecting her to hit the roof but she just stood there and cried. In fact she sobbed. A few days later she said "well it’s happened, you are my daughter and I will stand by you."
All was going well or so I thought. One night after yet another argument with him he got nasty with me and said he was going to bed so I followed him up the stairs. He turned around, grabbed me and pushed me down the stairs.
I was knocked out cold. He called an ambulance for me but he didn’t bother to come to the hospital with me. My body was black and blue. I lost the baby.
I rang my mother to come and pick me up from the hospital. She was so upset that not only had I lost the baby but that I had been treated so badly by him.
I hate to admit that my mother was right. But I have since moved on with my life. I am now back living with my mother. I have met a fab boy who treats me great, who my mother likes and I am very happy with. There are nice boys out there you just got to keep looking till you find them.

Kay's Story...read more

Good morning world. Good morning to all you ladies out there who are now on this site reading my story. I am so pleased I found this site.

Where do I start? My name is Kay. I am 46 and I have two teenage children who I have brought up since their dad left when they were young. He has never ever spent quality time with his girls as he's too tied up with the new love of his life - the other woman. Since our divorce I have dedicated my life to bringing my children up and making sure they wanted for nothing even though I couldn't afford to spoil them.
However, I would still take them on holiday every year and I suppose I was trying to make it up to them for not having their dad around.
I've always made sure there have been no so-called uncles in their lives but I do have a male friend who is just my friend, not a friend with benefits, just my friend. And that’s how I liked it. I never used to see him very often as we live miles apart but if he was passing he would call in for a coffee and a chat. We went out for the occasional bite to eat but nothing romantic.
Then recently he started ringing me more regularly and calling in more often saying he was feeling a bit low and that he felt that now he was 49 he wanted to share his life with someone special and spend quality time with them. He didn't want to be out with the boys all the time anymore.
He then asked me to go on holiday with him saying he didn't want to go away with his mates because they just want to get drunk and go on the pull all the time. He just wanted some quality company and to recharge his batteries because his job was getting him down.
I did hesitate at first but then thought why not? I made it clear to him that I did not want any funny business in the bedroom department and he assured me that it was just my company he was after. Although he said he had always fancied me.
Yes my alarm bells did ring but I thought why the hell not? I needed a holiday and now my children were older I could go on one without them.
So the holiday was booked for the following Saturday. I went out and bought new clothes, suntan lotions, got my euros and was counting down the days.
Then I received a 'phone call from him saying that the flight had left and that he had mixed the dates up! He was so sorry and upset on the phone that I really felt for him and was worried that this would send him into a bout of depression.
Later I decided to ring him to make sure he was OK. His 'phone was off so I decided to call over to try to see him to make sure he was alright. I had only been to his house once before many years ago.
There was no answer so I asked one of his neighbours where he was and also about his welfare…yes you got it ladies...he was well and was on holiday with his partner who had been living with him for the last 18 months. 
This has left me not even trusting my male friends let alone a partner. I’m not tarring all men with the same brush but I think I will be single for the rest of my life at this rate.

Yours sincerely, MISS GULLIBLE.

Samantha's Story...read more

Hi all at WS. Thanks for letting me tell my story on here as I cant speak to my family or friends. I dont think they would understand what I am going through nor understand the reasons why I'm staying with my boyfriend. My story's not about infidelity but I've come across your site tonight and wanted to offload to other women. Here is my story: my name is Samantha. Sam to my friends, Samantha to my parents as they say that Sam is a boy's name lol.

I am 19 and feel that my life is falling apart at the moment. I can't think straight and don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much. I've never been in love before. 
He is very possessive of me and hates me wearing short clothes or low tops but that’s because he loves me so much. He hates other boys whistling at me which they do even we are together.

We were going out in his car tonight and because it was so warm I decided to wear a pair of shorts and a strappy T-shirt. My boyfriend pulled up outside my parents' house and rang me on my mobile to say he was outside waiting for me.

I walked outside and when I got into the car he just went mental. He told me to go back inside and change my clothes and he said I looked like a slag. I was upset but went back inside to change.

My mother asked why I was changing my clothes. I just told her I was too cold in the car with the air con on. I then went back in the car and he drove off at high speed. To be honest he frightened me by driving so fast because I thought we would crash. Then he slammed on the brakes and my head hit the windscreen even though I had my seat belt on. I started to cry and told him that he frightened me and had hurt me.

He went mad and shouted at me and told me it was my fault because I had wound him up with my slaggy clothes. Out of the blue he then punched me in the side of my head. I was so shocked I just sat there holding my cheek. He apologised and said that he didn’t mean to do it, he was just upset and would never do it again.
When he dropped me home that night I went straight up to my room. My mum called up to me to ask if everything was alright. I think she knew I was upset.

Now I don’t know what to think. I know he didn’t mean it because he loves me and said it would never happen again. But now I'm frightened of showing my mother my cheek as it's already starting to get a massive bruise on it.
I'll see how it goes tomorrow as he's just texted me to say he's sorry and he loves me more than anything in the world. Just got to hide this bruise on my cheek from my parents as they will go mad.
My mum's noticed marks on my legs where he dead legs me and she is not happy with him. We will see how it goes tomorrow….chat soon  x

Alex's Story...read more

Hi my name is Alex. I am 22 and have been in a relationship for 18 months with my boyfriend who is three years younger than me. I know you're all thinking I'm a cradle snatcher, well that's what my friends say about me, always telling me that he is too young for me and to find someone my own age, but I love him and he loves me and that’s all that matters to us. Anyway, the other day when I was waiting to pick him up from college after I'd finished work he was well cosy with one of the girls in his class. When I asked him about her he just said they had been friends for ages and that they had grown up together. I found that strange as he's never mentioned her in the past and I've never seen her before not even when I met some of his other mates.Now we'd started to talk about her he was going on and on about her and how smart she was and that she had help him with some of his course work.
I am getting very worried that there is something going on between them or is it just me getting paranoid? I'm going to keep a journal on here so you can all let me know what you think. 

Sara's Story...read more

My name is Sara. I am 34 and have been in a long-term relationship with my partner since we left school together. We have no children because my partner is very old- fashioned and wants us to get married before we bring children into the world. I want to have children without getting married as I don’t feel I need a piece of paper to tell my partner how much I love him.

This is now causing us to argue frequently. I feel that my biological clock is ticking and I want to start a family right away. I've noticed just lately he has started to lose interest in me and about starting a family together. Whenever I ask him to talk about it he just shrugs his shoulders and has told me that now is not the right time to start a family. I'm left wondering what has changed because he's no longer nagging me to get married either. Also, he has started to go out with his workmates more often than he used to. Am I just being paranoid? It's just that there is something niggling away at the back of my mind telling me that he is playing away. Where, when and with whom I have no idea. I've started to wait till he is sleeping to go through his 'phone but so far I can’t find any evidence of another woman. But is he sneaky enough to have a second hidden mobile? I just know that there is something going on. It's his big change in attitude that I can't get over. I will keep on searching as I know deep down that there is something wrong. Will keep you all up-to-date with anything that I may or may not discover. Lucy's Story...read more

Lucy's Story...read more

My name is Lucy. I am 20 and have an eight month old son with my boyfriend Luke*. We were happy when our son was born. Over the moon in fact. We have now all moved into Luke’s parent’s house and it's working out quite well as they can give me a hand with their grandson who they both adore.

The thing is that now Luke has joined the army I sometimes feel a bit awkward living with his parents while he's not there but we cannot afford a place of our own yet. Luke has regular leave on weekends so I cope the best I can and look forward to every weekend with him. The thing is I have noticed that when he has come home lately that he is bothering with his son but pays me no attention. I have asked him is there anything wrong but he's assured me that he's just tired from being away all week and wants to spend quality time with his son on the weekends.  The other day when his mum was emptying his pockets when she was doing the washing I noticed that she looked a bit surprised when she unwrapped a small piece of paper from out of his trouser pocket so I asked her what it was. She just looked at me and said it was nothing and she put it in her pocket but I could tell from the expression on her face that something was wrong. I am now worried this could be another girl's 'phone number. I don’t want to ask him as I am frightened but also I don’t want to ask his mum again incase she thinks I don’t trust her son. So now I am going to keep an eye on things and log on here, write it all down and then decide if I'm just being paranoid. That’s all for today. Hope I get some sleep tonight. I haven’t been able to sleep much lately with the worry of it all.

Sonya's Story...read more

Hi to all the ladies out there. So glad I found this site. I want to share my story with you all. You may think I am as mad as a hatter but when you reach my age you will have had enough life experience not to care too much about what other people think of some of the exploits that I get up to! I am a grandmother and I love having my grandchildren whenever my daughter needs a break and when she has a special night out to go to. 

My name is Sonya. I am in my sixties but still feel about eighteen most days when I am out and about with some of my friends who are male and female. We are a large mixed group who all meet up regularly for our coffee mornings at each other’s houses or local pubs, (yes us old folk still go into pubs and have the occasional tipple!) We probably end up a little worse for wear every time we are there and making a bit of a show of ourselves but none of us care what other people think, we just have a great laugh. So even though I, and many of my friends, have been "scorned" in the past I am just showing you all that there is still a great life to be had even after your heart has been broken. Life always goes on.  I will catch up with you all soon with many a great tale to tell of all of my, and my friends', adventures. Bye for now.

Maria's Story...read more

My name is Maria. I am 48 years old and recently my life has been taking a downward spiral since I found out that my husband has been having an affair with my neighbour who is not only married but also half his age.

I have been in a terrible state since I found out last week. I don’t know who to turn to or what to do. I want to tell her husband about the affair. Why shouldn't she suffer like I'm suffering?  Every day I spend most of my time crying. I'm unable to eat as I feel like someone's got their hands around my throat and choking me. I can’t sleep, in fact, I can hardly function at the moment. My life is in turmoil and I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I hate my husband but also hate her for ruining my life. I want to run over there and scream in her face and tell her family what they've been doing but my husband said he will leave me if I do anything to her or tell her husband.  But why should I be the only one feeling like hell?  I am so upset and so frightened that he'll leave me but then I think to myself he's cheated on me, I don’t want him near me - the pig. I don’t know what to do or how to deal with this. I just want to go to sleep and rewind time but I can’t. This is happening to me right here right now. I just want the world to stop turning, I want to get off. I want this feeling to stop. This uncontrollable shaking in the core of my body that I have no control over. I want to scream so loud. I have tried but I keep being sick. Is there a tablet I can take to stop this feeling? I’m out of control. Please, please I just want this to stop. What the hell do I do?

Emma's Story...read more

Hi to you all you fab ladies out there.
My name is Emma. I am 29 and I have three children. My oldest son is from my first ever relationship, my first love, who, may I add, did the dirty on me also. I was young and naïve then but I have since grow up, got married and had another two great children. All three children get on great and my husband has always treated my eldest son as his own. Now I think my husband has been having a little bit more than a laugh and sharing a joke with my so-called best friend who virtually lives in my house. Every day she comes around to see me. I can’t understand this as she has no children of her own plus my other friends avoid my house like the plague, especially when my children are not in school, as you can’t have a relaxing coffee and a chat with screaming children running around all fighting for your attention. My suspicions have been aroused because when my husband has days off work she's around my house from dawn till dusk catering for his every need. Asking him can she get him something to eat then getting up and making him food, etc. Anybody would think that it was her house and that he was her husband not mine!  Well just to let you know ladies I am now going to be keeping a close eye on the pair of them from hereon in. Mark my words if they are having a fiddle behind my back fingers will be lost. That’s all for now. One very irate lady x

Angela's Story...read more

Hi all, my name is Angela. I am 57 and have been married for 40 years. I have two sons in their thirties. I got married when I was just 17. In those days it was the norm to get married young unlike today’s generation who have more sense.

At least some of them live together before they take the plunge. Try before you buy is what they do these days and I can’t say I blame them. The cost of a wedding is an arm and a leg which I know only too well as my eldest son has just got married to his long-time girlfriend. It was a beautiful day. We all enjoyed ourselves but I felt my husband was paying a little more attention to one of the guests than I was comfortable with. I am not the possessive jealous type but my gut instinct was telling me that he knew this woman well. It was their body language which was giving them away. They were flirting with each other in front of all our guests and I could see that some of the guests were also finding the whole situation a little awkward and uncomfortable. I bit my lip and didn't say anything as I didn't want to spoil the day for anyone especially my son. It has been several weeks now since the wedding and I don’t know if it’s me or not but my instinct is telling me there has been something going on with this woman and my husband. It sounds weak of me I know but I'm worried about digging too deeply because of what I will discover. Yet I can’t stand around doing nothing. I need to know what is going on or went on between them. Is it in the past or is this a present situation? I will keep you all informed of my decision about what I will do over the coming days.

Helena's Story...read more

I didn't set out to be the other woman. Who does? But you can't help who you fall in love with. I've read all the clichés in the book about mistresses and the few friends who know about my secret life think I'm deluded. But until you're in a certain situation you can't judge. Nothing's just black and white.

I'd known Joe* for quite some time on the business networking scene. I'm a freelance graphic designer and he works for a large construction firm which commissions my work now and again. I was aware he was tall and decent looking but I kidded myself I didn't see him in that way. I was in a good relationship and I knew he was married with a baby on the way. But he was very, very funny – and God, those business meetings can be soooo dull! I suppose, if I'm honest, I did look forward to seeing him at networking events. Then he disappeared for a couple of months. I knew from mutual contacts he was still at work but he stopped networking. When I did finally see him again he apologised for not being in touch but his wife had given birth and he'd been working from home for the first few months to help her out. He was trying to sound like a proud dad but it was obvious how much he fancied me. Before I knew it I was inviting him for a coffee. Of course it was wrong and my best friend said afterwards I could have stopped myself right there. But all logic went out of the window. It was like there was no ‘stop' button and I was saying things I couldn't control. So we went for that coffee – and afterwards I went straight home and finished with my boyfriend. He was devastated, of course, and begged me to tell him why but how could I tell him I just couldn't think of anything but being with another man?
Joe and I started meeting regularly, at first just for coffee, then one afternoon I invited him back to mine. We had sex and actually it was rubbih. But once the first time nerves had gone it all changed and now the sex is more intense than I have ever known. But back to reality. He's still with his wife and here's the cliché: he is going to leave her... as soon as their son is a bit older. In the meantime I have to be content with snatched afternoons and the odd evening date when he is able to claim he's ‘working late'. It's a nightmare and I feel constantly on edge with the guilt and the long gaps between 'phone calls. Even when the 'phone does ring I feel sick in case he's calling to say his wife's found out and it's over. As I said, no one would chose to live like this. But we're in love – so what can I do?

Ginette's Story...read more

I met Richard* when I was 21 and we were working for the same company. He set his sights on me but I never gave him a second glance until one night when we met at a club and then it was instant.

I never wanted to get married but his mother would not allow us to live ‘over the brush' so I agreed and it escalated into a big white wedding. I was besotted so I would do anything for him. I didn't want children but he convinced me to have just one. When our daughter was born he idolised her but was never there. Then he started drinking and getting aggressive. He didn't allow me to leave the house and on one occasion he locked me in with the baby. A couple of months later I found out I was pregnant again. I was devastated. I had a baby who didn't sleep and my marriage wasn't right. When I told Richard all hell broke loose and he accused me of carrying on with his boss! Then he finally sat me down and said he was jealous of his own child as she had taken my attention away from him. Our marriage kept spiralling downwards. Our second daughter was born and, again, he adored her but he was never there. With a two year old and a baby I was struggling. Then the violence began. He was a big, strapping man of about 16 stone and I was a size 10. He called me fat, a useless mother and every name under the sun. He said he was struggling with the mortgage but he had a good job and I knew it was because he was spending about £300 a month on drink. Also, in the bedroom, things had started to change. He wanted me to get a little bit kinky and started to wear my underwear in bed. I didn't want to know but he said I was narrow-minded and that other wives would understand. One day I had to take the girls to the dentist and, as it was too late for school dinners afterwards, I decided to take them home for lunch. But when we got there all the blinds were closed and the door was locked from the inside. I banged the door and eventually Richard answered, looking flustered, with lipstick all over his face. Of course, I thought there was a woman in the house with him so I ran upstairs looking in all the bedrooms. But there was no woman. I followed him in to the bathroom trying to figure it all out. Suddenly the airing cupboard door opened and out fell my bra, knickers and suspenders. At that moment my life fell apart. The girls were just four and six. I wanted to be married to a man not a woman. Unbelievably, I stayed. He had destroyed my confidence and the mind games were worse than the physical violence. But one night he tried to strangle me. I screamed and our eldest daughter came into our room screaming aswell. That was the only thing that made him stop. I genuinely believe he would have killed me otherwise. That was it and I started divorce proceedings.
He made my life hell by slashing my tyres and standing outside with a clipboard taking down the number plates of anyone who came to the house. Even to this day he threatens me if I see him in the street. My daughters chose not to see him and my biggest regret is not divorcing him much sooner. People ask me how I'm still single eleven years later but there's no way I could trust a man. I have four cameras around my house and every day I think he's coming back.

Julie's Story...read more

Alright then. Deep breath. I'm the other woman and I love it. I know that shocks people but, frankly, I don't care. I've been in a conventional relationship and been a mistress and there's no comparison. In fact, I doubt I'll ever again date a man who isn't already attached.

I started off, like everyone, dating guys one at a time throughout my teens and early twenties. I was brought up in a close-knit village and some of my friends were desperate to stay where they were and do the marriage and babies thing. I thought they were a bit sad to be honest. But the irony was that while their boyfriends were in no rush to settle down mine was falling over himself to get a ring on my finger. His name was Stuart* and he was decent enough but I just wasn't ready for cosy nights in with a DVD. As soon as he proposed that was it and I finished with him. He was so gutted but that just made him seem even more pathetic. I was 23.
I went out with a couple more men but they were all the same. On the occasions we did go out it was only as far as the local rugby club and all the girlfriends were expected to sit there adoringly while their boyfriends got drunk out of their minds. Thankfully, my career in sales and marketing was really going places and that was my ticket out. The men at work were so much more interesting and sophisticated – and unfortunately, as they tended to be a bit older than me, married.
But I quickly realised that this didn't have to be a barrier. In fact, compared to the dullness of my previous relationships, it added something new and exciting. My first affair was with a 30-something who worked in the IT team. It didn't last long, and I had the definite impression he'd done this before, but he treated me like royalty. Dates were in expensive restaurants, not the local pub, and we stayed in boutique hotels. He had beautiful manners and paid me compliments constantly noticing the smallest things such as a new pair of earrings or a different perfume.
When it ended – with no bad feelings on either side – I already had my eye on someone else. He worked for another marketing firm with which we had a friendly rivalry and attended many of the same events as me. It was an easy step from trading light-hearted banter to getting a taxi back to mine after a champagne-fuelled awards ceremony. Our affair lasted about four months until his wife found out. Luckily she never identified me as the other woman but she put him on a tight rein after that. Since then, I've gone from one married man to another. Half the fun is spotting a handsome man in a bar or at a work event then checking out his ring finger. If he's married I get quickly into action. If he's not there's no thrill and I'm onto the next contender. I don't feel remotely guilty. It's not me cheating on the wife and kids back home; it's the guy. Women like me get a bad press but that's just hypocrisy from people who like to cast the first stone without taking a good hard look at their own lives. I have my own moral code. I only date one man at a time and I'm completely honest with them. In contrast, I have plenty of friends who portray themselves as happily married yet are in denial to their husbands about everything and anything from how much a new bag cost to just how long they spent flirting with that stranger on the last girls' night out. No one has any claim on me. I admit I like getting gifts but I earn my own money and pay my way. And if the guy goes home to domestic boredom after an evening with me, well, it's not really my business.

Angela's Story...read more

Hi, a big THANK YOU to the team of Women Scorned for being there for us girls.

Hi, my name is Angela. I have been married for over forty years to my first love who I met in school when I was thirteen.We were inseparable and spent every day together in school and outside school. We were so in love walking round the school hand in hand thinking it would last forever and swearing to each other that neither of us would ever stray. When we were both eighteen we got married. We bought a small house together. We had nothing but we had each other and that was all that mattered. We were still happy when our fourth child arrived, yet another girl, but she was perfect. John* had longed for a boy. I think every man does deep down. It was then that things started to go wrong. John wanted us to try again to have a son but I didn't want to have any more children. I was exhausted enough with our four girls. John had started to become very distant towards me although he worshipped his girls and they could do no wrong in his eyes. As the girls got older he started to go out more often after work for a few drinks with who he told me was his boss. It didn't even enter my head that his boss was female as he'd only ever mentioned the name Sam. Then I discovered that his boss Sam was not just his boss but also the mother of his child - a son. I was devastated by this news. How could he after all these years have betrayed me and his girls? The arguments were terrible. I wanted him to leave but he wouldn't. He claimed that he loved us all and that he had only been unfaithful to me for one night with Sam but when he found out she was expecting his child he'd told her he would not leave his family but would be there to help and support her and his son. I felt that if it wasn't for the support of my girls I would have fallen apart. The girls wanted to see their brother. Like they said, he was not at fault for their dad cheating on me. After months of trying to come to terms with the whole situation I finally forgave him; after all he was still my husband and loving dad to all his children.  You may think I'm mad for forgiving him and staying with him but we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Our girls adore their little brother and I have now come to love him as a son. As for my husband let’s just say I have forgiven but will never forget the hurt and pain that he put me and the girls through. But we're still happy together and have five great children who I would now never change. Sometimes you have to forgive your man. If the love is that strong you can make it work.

Cath's Story...read more

Hi my name is Cath. I am 28 and own my house and car. I work shifts in the local hospital as a nurse and have worked hard to get where I am today. So when I met Neil* online we started chatting every day because we had everything in common; we were both nurses, worked in the same hospital and both loved our jobs.

When we decided to meet up all went well. We started dating, when our shifts allowed us to see each other, which wasn't very often but I didn’t mind. We had been seeing each other for nearly two years and I thought I had found the love of my life. I was so happy. As time passed we decided that he should move in with me. At first all was going well although sometimes he said we didn’t spend enough quality time with each other. I started to feel under pressure that on our rare days off together I had to give him all my attention pandering to his every whim. Even in the bedroom things were starting to change between us. He was becoming more and more aggressive wanting me to wear my nurse's uniform all the time whilst having sex and things started going from bad to worse. So one night when I was in work I started to tell one of the other nurses about what was happening and that I was no longer happy. It was then she realised that she had also been out with Neil before I met him. She then began to tell me that he had done the same thing with her and that his fantasy was to be a patient being looked after by a nurse all the time even down to her having to give him bed baths. She couldn’t deal with him and his fantasies so they had split up. So when I went home I spoke to Neil about what I'd heard and told him that I was no longer willing to wear my uniform for him in bed as I thought that he loved me for who I was and not the fact that I was a nurse. He went mad and said that if I didn’t wear my uniform that he would leave me. I was devastated at the thought that he would do that to me but stuck to my guns and said no. He then gathered all his belongings up in a bag and slammed out the door calling me a freak. I sat in a heap sobbing with everything going through my head. How stupid was I not to realise he loved the uniform not me? How could I have not seen it? He worked in his uniform and worked with all the other nurses in their uniforms. The man was bloody obsessed with it. I've moved on with my life now and have met a great man who loves me for me and not the fact that I wear a nurses uniform. * the real identities have been changed.

Antonia's Story...read more

My first marriage lasted ten years and we had three beautiful children together. He was a lovely man but had big problems with alcohol. In fact, it was the alcohol that killed him in the end.

A while afterwards, when I wasn't even looking, I met Neil on a night out. After all I had been through he was like a breath of fresh air; full of personality and fun, and the relationship soon turned serious.

Neil was an estate agent who dealt with high-end properties. He had been married twice before.

My three children were still mourning for their father so they found it hard to accept Neil, which caused tension at times.

After three years together my gorgeous daughter Holly was born. So there I was at the age of 40 with a very demanding baby who hardly slept plus three teenagers also needing my attention, and the cracks started to appear in my relationship with Neil.

When Holly was 18 months old Neil had his first affair. He began working late a lot, hiding his mobile 'phone, and not coming home at night. I confronted him one day and he eventually admitted it, and left to live with the other woman. He yo-yo'd between the two of us for a couple of years. He had access to see Holly every weekend and when he visited me the other woman would stalk him and make my life hell. After two years I could take no more and I moved into a flat for a fresh start. Neil finished his affair and eventually wore me down with his pleas to come back to our home and we started seeing each other again but still lived apart for a further three years.

One day he took me for a walk and we stood in front of this beautiful big house and he turned to me and said "What do you think? Let's give it another go." This was his dream home. It was huge with a large garden, swimming pool, outside hot tub under a gazebo, games room and every mod con and luxury you could think of.

So we gave it another go. But it wasn't the perfect life I thought it would be. Neil has OCD and would come home from work every day and patrol the house looking for imperfections. If anything was wrong he would sulk. I was constantly on tenterhooks and felt worn down and unconfident. My low self-esteem transferred into the bedroom and once again the cracks in our relationship began to appear. After two years, true to form, Neil started another affair.

A family friend, Wayne, knocked our door one evening and accused Neil of having an affair with his wife, Karen, a friend of mine for almost 20 years. Of course, Neil denied it all and turned the whole situation around so effectively Wayne actually apologised to him and shook his hand before leaving!

But Wayne’s suspicions were totally correct. Karen and Neil had done to me exactly what Karen’s first husband and best friend had done to her a few years earlier. When Karen’s first husband left her for her best friend I was there for her and helped her through it all as much as I could so for me this was a double betrayal.

Neil left me and moved in with Karen. Looking back now all the signs were there: they were very touchy-feely, they constantly contacted each other by mobile 'phone, Neil would be at her house a lot doing “odd jobs”, etc.

I remained at our house with my four children and Neil continued to pay the mortgage. But as soon as he knew I'd had an offer to purchase it he stopped paying it. To stop the house being repossessed I had to borrow money from family and friends and pay them back from the house sale. This also meant that instead of buying the house I live in now mortgage-free I ended up having to take out a mortgage on it. It was emotionally and financially a very traumatic time for me.

Neil's access to Holly was always sporadic and Holly is of an age now where she has decided she doesn't really want to see her dad. Neil sends her money in a birthday card every year but there's rarely any contact between them.

This all happened three years ago. I have no feelings for Neil anymore. I don't hate him and I don't love him either. The whole experience showed me that I am blessed with family and friends who rallied round me with their time, love, and money.

Life is now good again and I am content.
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